Notes In Class
by SiriusBDobby
Summary: Series of drabbles based in the classrooms at Hogwarts! Rated T for language. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1: The Golden Trio

Harry: Ron, you awake?

Harry: ...

Harry: Ron!

Ron: Merlin's beard, Harry! Don't scare me awake.

Harry: Heh, sorry. Talk to me, you dickhead.

Ron: Nah, I'd rather sleep.

Harry: I'll tell people about that time you shat yourself when you was 9.

Ron: I told you that in confidence, you prick!

Harry: And I will tell others in confidence.

Ron: Fine! But you owe me about 100 galleons worth of Honeydukes.

Harry: Yeah, whatever. I can't wait until the end of this year. We'll be in 6th and won't have to be in this lesson anymore.

Ron: To be honest, we could leave and never come back. Binns wouldn't even notice.

Harry: Yeah we could, but McGonagall would be on to us in a flash.

Ron: True... do you reckon Binns can even hear or see us?

Harry: I think he's trained himself to not notice anything unless it speaks directly to him.

Ron: Remember his face in 2nd year when Hermione asked him about the Chamber of Secrets?

Harry: Oh yeah! Like he'd seen a ghost or something.

Ron: ... what? He is a ghost.

Harry: I guess that made more sense in my head.

Ron: Obviously. Yeah but he looked like he'd never seen students before. That was probably the first question he's been asked in his whole career.

Harry: Why is he still here anyway?

Ron: I guess there's nowhere else for him to float about.

Harry: ... Ron.

Ron: What?

Harry: You know that bitch Cho?

Ron: Yeah I know that bitch Cho.

Harry: I caught her staring at me during lunch.

Ron: What? Why?

Harry: Does it look like I know? She pissed me off man, going off like that just 'cause I mentioned Hermione once or twice. Everyone knows that there is nothing but friendship between me and Hermione.

Ron: I guess Chang is just the jealous type. I always knew there was something wrong with her ever since I saw that Tornadoes badge. Bad egg, I tell you.

Harry: She was giving me those eyes.

Ron: Those eyes?

Harry: Yeah, those eyes.

Ron: Do you expect me to know what the fuck you mean by 'those eyes'?

Harry: I mean those eyes she has when she's about to cry. I refuse to feel bad for her. So what if she's upset? All those fucking times she cried to me about loving Cedric and all that shit whilst we were supposed to be trying this dating thing and I said nothing. But the one time I mention Hermione and she turns into an enraged cow.

Ron: I feel you.

Harry: I don't want to be insensitive about Cedric and all but come on! She's been stringing me on when in reality she doesn't give a shit about me. She just wants me to be her shoulder to cry on.

Hermione: Harry you are being insensitive.

Ron: Where the bloody hell did you come from?

Hermione: Hello to you too.

Ron: Shouldn't you be writing notes so that we can copy off you?

Hermione: I charmed my quill to write what Binns says on its own. And anyway, Harry! How can you say that?

Harry: Say what? I didn't say anything bad.

Hermione: So calling Cho a 'bitch' isn't bad?

Ron: Not when she's been acting like one.

Hermione: Keep talking rubbish and I'll kill you in your sleep Ronald Weasley.

Ron: Alright, chill.

Harry: Ron's right. How do you expect me to deal with her shit 24/7? Am I her personal counsellor?

Hermione: Well... No. But I think you should apologise to her for mentioning me so much.

Harry: What? All I said was that I needed to meet you, where's the harm in that?

Hermione: The harm, you idiot, is in the fact that you said this while you two were on a date! And you didn't even say that I'm an ugly annoying bushy haired smartarse or something.

Harry: Why would I say that?!

Ron: Why would Harry say that?!

Harry: Innit!

Hermione: You boys are so stupid! You don't have to mean it! You obviously made Cho feel insecure by mentioning me as it looked as if you felt that meeting me was more important that being with her.

Harry: Well it was.

Hermione: You're unbelievable.

Ron: Oi, look up.

Hermione: Ew.

Harry: The fuck is Malfoy looking at?

Ron: Looks like him and the two gorillas behind him are looking at us. D'you reckon we could fuck them up without Binns noticing?

Harry: Yeah.,

Hermione: You could get into trouble because of that!

Harry: We could get in trouble if this was McGonagall's class... or Snape's.

Ron: But this is Binns we're talking about. I reckon we could throw a couple heavy blows and he wouldn't even realise.

Hermione: No. Just ignore them. There's no need for violence.

Harry: Says the person who tried to break Malfoy's face.

Hermione: That's different! He crossed the line talking about Hagrid in that way!

Ron: He's crossing the line by staring at us, the fucking mug. Harry, come let's knock him out. I guess we might get a detention but then you'd get to miss Occlumency with Snape.

Harry: Oh shit, yes I would!

Hermione: AND YOU SAY I NEED TO SORT OUT MY PRIORITIES?! HARRY NEEDS OCCLUMENCY, YOU IMBECILE!


	2. Chapter 2: The Marauders

James: Oi Moony, give me a copy of your notes after.

Sirius: Yeah, me too.

Peter: Me three.

Sirius: Go away, Wormtail.

Remus: How about you all charm your quills to write down what Binns is saying like I have?

James: Because that's effort which I ain't bothered to make at the moment.

Sirius: We've been in this lesson for like ten centuries, I'm so bored.

James: Let's talk about the love of my life.

Remus: Snape?

Sirius: HAHAHA disgusting.

James: Oh real funny. I'm chatting about Evans man.

Sirius: Just ask her out for God's sake. Are you a toddler or 15?

James: It's not that easy Padfoot.

Sirius: Yes it is, I do it all the time.

Remus: So why haven't you asked out Johnson yet?

Sirius: That's different! And I'll get there eventually okay, just taking it slow innit.

Remus: Pussy.

James: Padfoot you're pretty deep in the friends zone with Johnson.

Sirius: Yeah, I'd rather be in the friend zone than no where at all like some people.

Peter: Evans and James are friends now though.

Sirius: Who asked for your opinion?

James: Can we get back to Evans please?

Remus: I agree with Padfoot here, Prongs. Take her to Hogsmeade next week.

Sirius: I'm gonna ask Johnson too. Like an actual date.

James: Should we double date it or is that wet? Evans and Johnson are best friends so it should be calm right?

Remus: No idiots, don't double date.

Sirius: Aye, that alliteration there.

Remus: Piss off.

James: Evans is just so beautiful. Her fiery red hair, those beautiful green eyes. I can see us in the future, married with a cat and son named, I dunno, Harry or something. And he'll be a top quidditch player like his father.

Remus: You're so weird.

Sirius: Top quidditch player, my arse. You're shit.

James: Both of you can fuck off for real.

Peter: I think you're very talented and I hope your love with Evans blossoms.

James: Thanks, Wormtail. At least you have sense.

Sirius: Kiss-arse.

James: Are you sure Johnson is consider your date an actual date? You're so far up her arse it's sickening.

Sirius: Shut the fuck up Mr I'm gonna marry Lily Evans and have a son called Barry.

James: Harry!

Sirius: Yeah, whatever. As long as I'm Godfather.

Peter: What about me?

Sirius: What about you? And yes I'm sure Johnson is consider our date an actual date. I was thinking of taking her to the Three Broomsticks, just a casual thing so it doesn't feel awkward and too romantic.

Remus: Wow, Padfoot. You've actually put thought into this date. Johnson's made you all soft.

James: Innit, normally you just bang 'em in the broom closet and piss off.

Sirius: It's different this time, you pigs. I think I actually like her. Argh, that sounds so wet. I make myself feel sick. I don't do this romantic thing, that's for you two Moony and Prongs.

James: Dickhead you've been crushing on her since like third year, we know you like her.

Remus: I think everyone does, apart from her because she has you so deeply placed in the friend zone.

Sirius: Eat a dick Moony.

Remus: Remember in fourth year when Zabini tried it on with Johnson and Padfoot got all jealous.

Sirius: I wasn't jealous! I just think she can do way better than him!

James: Liar.

Remus: Liar x2.

Peter: Liar x3.

Sirius: Fuck off all of you.

Remus: The lesson is almost over.

James: I'm feeling nervous now. What if Evans says no?

Sirius: You can cry about it over a tub of ice-cream like the little bitch you are. Man up. She'll say yes.

James: Thank you for those twisted words of encouragement Padfoot. You'll definitely be Harry's Godfather now.

Sirius: Always glad to help. Now I need to figure out how to get Johnson to love me.

Remus: You're both pathetic.


End file.
